Douggie John

You're Going Home In a F@cking Ambulance!

Last heard at the infamous 1987 Scarborough V Woves tear-up - the one where the Wolves fan fell 30ft through the roof.

"You're Gonna Get Your F@cking Head Kicked In!"

Made popular by Man Utd's legendary Red Army during the 1970's.

Manchester United's all-conquering Red Army lighting up Wembley Stadium

Come And Have a Go If You Think You're Hard Enough!

I first heard this in 1975', at White Hart Lane, from the Red Army. They certainly had their work cut out that day, the Tottenham mob were properly up for it.

Over there, Over There... And Do They Smell? Like F@cking Hell!

A sneering insult delivered with pointed fingers.

We'll Take More Care Of You, Archibald, Archibald!

In the mid 1970's, Tottenham fans hijacked the song "Fly The Flag" from the popular British Airways commercial, to serenade their beloved Steve Archibald. It also proved popular with the rough and ready followers of early 1980's Welsh featherweight boxer Steve Sims.

Spurs legend Steve Archibald

What a Load Of Rubbish!

This monotonous chant must have been heard at every ground in Britain during the 1970's. A free kick decision either way was often all it took.

Come And Have a Go At The (insert team) Agg-e-ro!!

An open invitation to opposing hooligans.

You'll Never Walk Alone.

Sung, with scarves held high, at every ground in the country - yes, including Old Trafford, and Elland Road.

You'll Never Walk Alone.

The hand-clap version, first heard at Elland Road; "you'll nev... clap clap, ver walk... clap clap, alone... clap clap. Walk on, clap clap..."

Leeds United fans singing You'll Never Walk Alone at Hillsborough in 1977

"(Insert name here) Superstar, Walks Like a Women And He Wears a Bra!"

To the tune of the popular title song from the 1971 rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar.

Often aimed at George Best.

Knees Up Mother Brown

A hugely popular song on London terraces during the 1960's and 70's, the rip-roaring chorus of "oh my what a rotten song", always triggered a scary push down the terraces.

It's a Long Way To Fulham Broadway

To the tune of It's a Long Way To Tipperary.

Strictly a Chelsea Shed song. On the walk back to Fulham Broadway after games, Chelsea lads would sidle up to potential targets and ask them the time, anybody with a northern accent was deemed fair game. Back then, both sets of supporters were usually let out of the ground at the same time. For away fans, it indeed often was a long, dangerous walk to Fulham Broadway.

He Smokes Cigars And He Drinks Champagne, Malcolm Allison!

A once popular Crystal Palace song, to the tune of Camptown Races. "On the wife all day, on the wife all night..."

Eee I Adio We Won The Cup!

This was once a cup final staple in the old 100,000 capacity Wembley Stadium, before the plastic seats and loudspeaker system destroyed any chance of fans building a genuine atmosphere. Watch the 1974 FA Cup final, Liverpool V Newcastle, or Man Utd V Arsenal 1979 - that's what I'm on about.

No need for Sweet Caroline.

North Stand, North Stand Do Your Job!

Sung by the Chelsea Shed boys, to encourage their comrades at the other end of the pitch to steam into the away supporters.

The notorious Chelsea North Stand.

We'll See You All Outside!

To the tune of the 1969 Mary Hopkin song 'Those Were The Days My Friend'.

This one proved popular at Upton Park during the 1980's rise of the legendary ICF.

Good Old Arsenal, We're Proud To Say That Name

Prior to the epic 1971 cup final between Arsenal and Liverpool, ITV's Big Match presenter Brian Moore asked viewers to send in ideas for a new Arsenal song, something that would rival Liverpool's famous YNWA. None of the public suggestions cut the mustard, so co-presenter Jimmy Hill took the bull by the horns and wrote Good Old Arsenal. It kind of took off, and hung around through the years - until Louis Dunford came along and blew it clean out of the water with North London Forever.

Written by Jimmy Hill, It kind of took off, and hung around through the decades.

We All Agree, (insert team) Are Magic.

When Wolves and Chelsea drew one-all, at Molineux in May 1977, both teams gained promotion. Fans from both sides poured onto the pitch and instead of fighting they sang "We all agree, Wolves and Chelsea are magic! And all who were there will never forget.

Millwall Here, Millwall There, Millwall F@cking Everywhere, La La La Laaa, La La laaa, La La!

(Not specifically a Millwall song.) Usually sung when an away mob had taken over the most of the ground.

You'll Never Take The Shed, Or North Bank... or wherever

Ends don't get taken anymore.

You'll Get The Same As Luton!

Sung by Chelsea boot-boys, to opposing fans in reference to the carnage they caused at Kenilworth Road, maybe ten years prior to Millwall's well documented invasion of Luton.

Nice One Cyril!

"Nice one Cyril, nice one son. Nice one Cyril, let's have another one!"

This chant began life as the slogan of a 1972 Bread advert that praised a fictitious baker named Cyril. Tottenham fans latched on and belted it out to salute their defender Cyril Knowles. A band named The Cockerel Chorus recorded the song, it did fairly well in the charts and won an Ivor Novello award in 1974 for Best Unusual Song. It has lately made something of a comeback at Spurs since the arrival of Korean hot-shot Son Heung-Min. Nice One Sonny, Nice One Son!

Cyril Knowles

What Shall We Do With a Tottenham Bastard?

To the tune of Drunken Sailor.

A Millwall favourite during the violent days of Treatment, F-Troop and the Halfway Line. "What shall we do with a Tottenham bastard early in the morning..?" You can probably guess the rest.

We Hate Nottingham Forest, We Hate (insert team) Too, And Leicester!!

We Hate (insert team) But (insert team) We Love You!!

To the tune of Land Of Hope And Glory.

Across the board, this hugely popular chant always started with hate for Nottingham Forest, and usually included a spiteful dig at Leicester. It was a chant that would often continue for ages with each rendition kicked started by a loud shout of "All Together Now..!"

He's Got a Pineapple On His Head.

To the tune of He's Got The Whole World In His Hands.

Aimed specifically at Nottingham Forest striker Jason Lee, at most grounds around the country. It all began with what was later described as a bullying campaign conducted by comedians David Badiel and Frank Skinner. On their TV show Fantasy Football League, they repeatedly mocked Lee for his hairstyle, and footballing ability. Badiel went as far as wearing a dreadlocked wig and blacking up his face. He and Skinner came up with the song and eventually fans around the country picked up on it. Years later, Lee stated in an interview that if either of them had tried bullying him in person, he'd have chinned 'em.

David Badiel bullying Jason Lee

Bonetti Lost The World Cup!

To the tune of Just Because You're Losing.

Heard at most grounds in England during the early to mid 1970's.

Mexico 1970, England made it to the World Cup quarter finals where they faced arch rivals West Germany. Regular goalkeeper Gordon Banks went down with severe food poisoning on the the day of the match. In stepped Chelsea keeper Peter "The Cat" Bonetti. England charged into a two-nil lead - but then the wheels came off. Bonetti let in three goals, and England crashed out. The public heaped all the blame firmly on Bonetti, and he never played for England again.

Mexico 1970, Gerd Muller crushes England's World Cup campaign, and Bonetti's international career.

You're Not Fit To Wipe My Arse!

To the tune of We'll Support You Ever More.

'You're Not Fit To Wear The Shirt' is still to be heard, but I haven't heard 'You're Not Fit To Wipe My Arse' since Manchester United Played QPR at Loftus Road in 1975. United fans sang it while pointing towards the Rangers fans in The Loft. A small faction of United's Red Army had earlier attempted to take The Loft, and failed.

Mile End, Mile End, Mile End, Mile End, Mile End...

To the tune of Heigh Ho!

If you were an away supporter at Upton Park and you heard this nearby, it was time to hide your scarf and put your head down.

Bobby Moore Bobby Moore Running From The Den

To the tune of Robin Hood, Riding Through The Glen.

Exclusively a Millwall song. This was a malicious dig at the late West Ham and England folk hero. The lyrics suggested Bobby was a promiscuous homosexual.

Niall Quinn's Disco Pants

To the tune of Here we Go, Here We Go! (The Stars And Stripes Forever)

Started by Manchester City fans in reference to a nightclub incident involving Quinn, then a City player, and his team mate Steve McMahon. The pair had engaged in a boozy scuffle after which Quinn removed his bloodstained shirt and boogied the night away in a pair of denim shorts. When he left Man City and joined Sunderland, the Makems adopted the chant with gusto. It was one of those chants that opposing fans could find no answer for, they'd just have to grin and bear it. The Sunderland fanzine A Love Supreme recorded it and reached number 56 in the national pop charts. Niall Quinn achieved hero status during his time at Sunderland, and joyus renditions of 'Disco Pants' were heard everywhere the Black Cats played - but, just like Cheer Up Peter Reid, it faded away into English terrace culture folklore.